They're black they're brown they're up their down
They're in they're out they're all about
They're far they're near they're gone they're here
They're quick and slick and insincere
Beware Beware Be a very wary bear
A Heffalump or Woozle is very confusel
The Heffalump or woosel is very sly
- sly - sly - sly
They come in ones and twoosels
but if they so choosels
before your eyes you'll see them multiply
- ply - ply - ply
They're extra-ordinary so better be wary
Because they come in every shape and size
- size - size - size
If honey is what you covet you'll find that they love it
Because they guzzle up the thing you prize
They're green they're blue they're pink they're white
They're round they're square they're a terrible sight
They tie themselves in horrible knots
They come in stripes or polka-dots
Beware Beware Be a very wary bear
(musical interlude)
They're extra-ordinary so better be wary
Because they come in every shape and size
- size - size - size
If honey's what you covet you'll find that they love it
Because they guzzle up the things you prize
They're black they're brown they're up their down
They're in they're out they're all about
They're far they're near they're gone they're here
They're quick and slick and insincere
Beware Beware Beware Beware Beware ....
Yes, I'm sure you're wondering why I am posting this . . . .
Let's just say a certain stalker has driven this image into my head. So for Aaya, and to all good people, I hope you do not get followed by a Heffalump, Woozle, or creeper.
17.2.11
22.12.09
The Life of Those Two Older Woman
Dora Rosenblatt, an old 80 year old woman, had an outside demeanor that was not at all pleasant. For, as she had planned in her 9th grade year, Dora had a dark museum kind of home. She took strange comfort in frightening young children away from her old and rickety house. “Her entire property is ominous!” all those children said. Never would the thought cross her mind to extirpate those creeping weeds in her yard. Her actions were quite deft and “venal” some would say, as she snuck rats into their sacks every time they came on Halloween. Cats roamed rampant around her abode.
Dora rocked on her old, musty rocking chair. “What a nice night it is! I think I’d like to go out for a stroll.” As she began to get up, in barged a lively old lady of 81 years. “Oh, DALORA! (Da-laura) It’s been a couple days since my last visit! Or wait… two weeks. Oh dear, how memories get hazy.”
Dora glared at the old, energetic, and almost supple Black-kun. “This is certainly an inopportune moment to jump into my home. I was at the pinnacle of my night’s lovely walk.”
“But of course, Dalora. I came in because of a mission,” Black-kun stately mentioned.
“It better be reasonable for you to officiously barge in so rudely!” Dora’s eyes dimmed. “Oh, of course.” Black-kun started to brandish her cane around in circles. “In about three seconds: one, two—”. In charged Abbi, Jen, Robin, Peter Pan, Ashley, and Kelsy. They all ironically wore the same clothes as Black-kun. Getting in a line, they turned on a Japanese Lucky Star dance, as their dancing moves suppressed the darkness of her abode. In ran young kids of all ages, white cats instead of just black, and many purple butterflies. Black-kun’s mission was to solace Dora’s scary, hairy house. Her plan was all premeditated, as her success reigned upon her mind and the many souls of little children. “I do not accede to this!” shouted Dora. “My house should comprise of one thing, solitude! And that is always very explicit to you, Black-kun. I’m surprised you never turned out destitute all these years.”
“Of course not! But that’s not the last of the surprise..” Black-kun chimed.
“Uh-oh.” (Picture Dora’s expression here)
The kids took the rats out of their pockets. “We shall feed your cats!!!” Cats ran around very much so, that potatoes joined them.
And then Dora awoke from her nightmare.
Dora rocked on her old, musty rocking chair. “What a nice night it is! I think I’d like to go out for a stroll.” As she began to get up, in barged a lively old lady of 81 years. “Oh, DALORA! (Da-laura) It’s been a couple days since my last visit! Or wait… two weeks. Oh dear, how memories get hazy.”
Dora glared at the old, energetic, and almost supple Black-kun. “This is certainly an inopportune moment to jump into my home. I was at the pinnacle of my night’s lovely walk.”
“But of course, Dalora. I came in because of a mission,” Black-kun stately mentioned.
“It better be reasonable for you to officiously barge in so rudely!” Dora’s eyes dimmed. “Oh, of course.” Black-kun started to brandish her cane around in circles. “In about three seconds: one, two—”. In charged Abbi, Jen, Robin, Peter Pan, Ashley, and Kelsy. They all ironically wore the same clothes as Black-kun. Getting in a line, they turned on a Japanese Lucky Star dance, as their dancing moves suppressed the darkness of her abode. In ran young kids of all ages, white cats instead of just black, and many purple butterflies. Black-kun’s mission was to solace Dora’s scary, hairy house. Her plan was all premeditated, as her success reigned upon her mind and the many souls of little children. “I do not accede to this!” shouted Dora. “My house should comprise of one thing, solitude! And that is always very explicit to you, Black-kun. I’m surprised you never turned out destitute all these years.”
“Of course not! But that’s not the last of the surprise..” Black-kun chimed.
“Uh-oh.” (Picture Dora’s expression here)
The kids took the rats out of their pockets. “We shall feed your cats!!!” Cats ran around very much so, that potatoes joined them.
And then Dora awoke from her nightmare.
The Summer’s Annual Sports Festival: Part 1
“Welcome, guests! It’s finally here, the event you have all been waiting for, the Summer’s Annual Sports Festival! Stick around for all the young ladies and handsomest boys participating in many multifarious events!” Tamaki brilliantly announced. Hearts swooned drastically, as ladies reveled Tamaki’s charming charisma.
The time came upon them to decide upon teams and pairings. This was their mission: to align with two other players and defeat evil! But there were some problems among the numerous participants.
“I will now announce the teams. Team 1, my squad, consists of Black-kun, Churuya, and Haruhi-chan. We are squad 6.” Tamaki stepped down from the platform. Haru-chan stared upon her teammates. “This is not a very compatible team to work with..”
“Hey, you!!!!” shouted Black-kun with her pointer finger stretched out at her. “If you’ve got such a smart mouth, maybe I don’t want to be on your team!”
“Nyoron… Shouldn’t we be trying to get along?” asked Churuya, ingenuously. There seemed to be a growing animosity between Haruhi and Black-kun. Churuya became very apprehensive about this year’s summer’s sports festival.
“The next team…” Kakashi was now at the podium. “is my squad, squad 7. Aaya, Gure, and Hari, please come meet me on the field.” Now we’ve always known that Kakashi was tricky, but he is also very mysterious. His clone poofed into a cloud of smoke, and when it cleared, a log was shown.
Black-kun shouted from her position, “Kakashi, what are you thinking, you idiot! There was no need to show off your substitution jutsu right now!”
Haruhi adjusted her invisible, no longer present glasses. “That was a foolish act, indeed.”
That was surprising, for sure; they shared the same opinion. Black-kun and Haruhi glanced at one another, hence they had the thoughts: She is very suave and agreeable.
“Alright! I’m pumped! Let’s win this, Haru-chan!” Black-kun grabbed Haru-chan’s hand and held it in the air.
“Isn’t it a little soon to be calling me by my first name? And you’ve popped my personal bubble.” Haruhi stated in quandary and confusion.
“It’s ok! We’re friends now. I thought you were parsimonious and recalcitrant, but it turned out to be quite the misunderstanding. I think you’re awesome, Haru-chan!”
“Oh dear…” Haruhi knew that from that moment, she would have to bear the disagreeable rants of Black-kun, not too mention the bubble popping.
“Hello, everyone! And my team is squad 8. Sasuke Uchiha, Robin Harrington, and Momiji Sohma. Please come report to my station!” This team leader was none other than Professor Kim. She had graduated from medical school with a master’s degree in pediatrics, while taking a part time cheerleading job. Many young students took a liking to her! Soon she was to meet very interesting friends.
The announcer of the festival turned out to be non other then Gaara. He held the microphone near his face with sand coming from his gourd. “The first event is the donut eating contest.. It is consecrated to show the art of donut tasting..” He glared at the paper.
Again, Haru-chan’s words echoed. “Oh dear…” (Although her eyes danced at the sight of Gaara.)
“Yea! I’m ready for anything and everything!” Black-kun cheered. (Especially since Sasuke was participating.)
“Let’s get this started.” Sasuke grinned.
Aaya, Gure, and Hari all chimed at once. “Sasuke-kun is here!”
Churuya-san ran over to Kyon-kun. “Kyon-kun, Kyon-kun. If I win the contest, can I have some smoked cheese?” “No way.” Kyon stated solemnly. “Nyoron…”
Kakashi’s eyes switched from side to side, as he looked at his new book. “Oh, this is good.”
Professor Kim did the ice cream dance.
“I love bunnies!” Momiji blushed. Side onlookers derided her love of those gray, furry creatures. In the upcoming event, she would show her talent to those unthankful and thoughtless people.
“It’s good that many people here speak my language.” Robin smiled.
Dora looked over to Black-kun, who’s attitude was clearly on fire. “I hope not to find you omnivorous in this competition.”
“Oh, Dora, what is with that apathy of yours? This competition holds our life at stake! And no worries. I’m not rude enough to seek reprisal and revenge. Unlike Sasuke.” Black-kun’s teeth muscles clenched. She became oddly irritable. Right at that moment, out of nowhere, Gure jumped from behind and struck Black-kun in the side as she fell over and fainted. Shigure’s thumb finger pointed up. “It’s the only way to stultify her. We leave her in your hands, Haru-chan. I commend you for your efforts!”
“I knew it was important to share our condolences.” Aaya sighed. “I guess that trick is not so obsolete or decrepit after all, is it Gure?” Ashley questioned. They all joined together as they walked off to find Sasuke.
“Oh dear…” were the only words left in Haruhi’s vocabulary, as Black-kun lay knocked out on the floor.
Tuning next time, the actual festival! Stay tuned! ☺
The time came upon them to decide upon teams and pairings. This was their mission: to align with two other players and defeat evil! But there were some problems among the numerous participants.
“I will now announce the teams. Team 1, my squad, consists of Black-kun, Churuya, and Haruhi-chan. We are squad 6.” Tamaki stepped down from the platform. Haru-chan stared upon her teammates. “This is not a very compatible team to work with..”
“Hey, you!!!!” shouted Black-kun with her pointer finger stretched out at her. “If you’ve got such a smart mouth, maybe I don’t want to be on your team!”
“Nyoron… Shouldn’t we be trying to get along?” asked Churuya, ingenuously. There seemed to be a growing animosity between Haruhi and Black-kun. Churuya became very apprehensive about this year’s summer’s sports festival.
“The next team…” Kakashi was now at the podium. “is my squad, squad 7. Aaya, Gure, and Hari, please come meet me on the field.” Now we’ve always known that Kakashi was tricky, but he is also very mysterious. His clone poofed into a cloud of smoke, and when it cleared, a log was shown.
Black-kun shouted from her position, “Kakashi, what are you thinking, you idiot! There was no need to show off your substitution jutsu right now!”
Haruhi adjusted her invisible, no longer present glasses. “That was a foolish act, indeed.”
That was surprising, for sure; they shared the same opinion. Black-kun and Haruhi glanced at one another, hence they had the thoughts: She is very suave and agreeable.
“Alright! I’m pumped! Let’s win this, Haru-chan!” Black-kun grabbed Haru-chan’s hand and held it in the air.
“Isn’t it a little soon to be calling me by my first name? And you’ve popped my personal bubble.” Haruhi stated in quandary and confusion.
“It’s ok! We’re friends now. I thought you were parsimonious and recalcitrant, but it turned out to be quite the misunderstanding. I think you’re awesome, Haru-chan!”
“Oh dear…” Haruhi knew that from that moment, she would have to bear the disagreeable rants of Black-kun, not too mention the bubble popping.
“Hello, everyone! And my team is squad 8. Sasuke Uchiha, Robin Harrington, and Momiji Sohma. Please come report to my station!” This team leader was none other than Professor Kim. She had graduated from medical school with a master’s degree in pediatrics, while taking a part time cheerleading job. Many young students took a liking to her! Soon she was to meet very interesting friends.
The announcer of the festival turned out to be non other then Gaara. He held the microphone near his face with sand coming from his gourd. “The first event is the donut eating contest.. It is consecrated to show the art of donut tasting..” He glared at the paper.
Again, Haru-chan’s words echoed. “Oh dear…” (Although her eyes danced at the sight of Gaara.)
“Yea! I’m ready for anything and everything!” Black-kun cheered. (Especially since Sasuke was participating.)
“Let’s get this started.” Sasuke grinned.
Aaya, Gure, and Hari all chimed at once. “Sasuke-kun is here!”
Churuya-san ran over to Kyon-kun. “Kyon-kun, Kyon-kun. If I win the contest, can I have some smoked cheese?” “No way.” Kyon stated solemnly. “Nyoron…”
Kakashi’s eyes switched from side to side, as he looked at his new book. “Oh, this is good.”
Professor Kim did the ice cream dance.
“I love bunnies!” Momiji blushed. Side onlookers derided her love of those gray, furry creatures. In the upcoming event, she would show her talent to those unthankful and thoughtless people.
“It’s good that many people here speak my language.” Robin smiled.
Dora looked over to Black-kun, who’s attitude was clearly on fire. “I hope not to find you omnivorous in this competition.”
“Oh, Dora, what is with that apathy of yours? This competition holds our life at stake! And no worries. I’m not rude enough to seek reprisal and revenge. Unlike Sasuke.” Black-kun’s teeth muscles clenched. She became oddly irritable. Right at that moment, out of nowhere, Gure jumped from behind and struck Black-kun in the side as she fell over and fainted. Shigure’s thumb finger pointed up. “It’s the only way to stultify her. We leave her in your hands, Haru-chan. I commend you for your efforts!”
“I knew it was important to share our condolences.” Aaya sighed. “I guess that trick is not so obsolete or decrepit after all, is it Gure?” Ashley questioned. They all joined together as they walked off to find Sasuke.
“Oh dear…” were the only words left in Haruhi’s vocabulary, as Black-kun lay knocked out on the floor.
Tuning next time, the actual festival! Stay tuned! ☺
Episode 2: Spoons with Sasuke
“We’re coming on to him!” Shigure shouted as she bolted from branch to branch catching up to him- oh, so slightly. “Sasuke won’t escape this time!” Gure* muttered to herself. Sasuke had managed to lose sight of them for weeks with numerous guises, each impossible to recognize. Black-kun*’s forehead furrowed. “It’s no use! We won’t catch up to him at the speed rate we’re going.”
Hatori leaped beside these two on their chase after Sasuke, the legendary Uchiha*. “We may not catch up to him with our feet, but we can certainly get him with our jutsus*!” Hari mentioned with a sly grin. She began deploying their team. “Black-kun, get ready. Keep your eyes on him, Gure, and make sure you don’t lose sight of him! Ayaa, pin him down with your kunai knives* against those tree trunks!”
Black-kun lunged forward, ready for the hit. “Make way, Sasuke, and prepare for the most daring girls you have ever seen! Ayaa, do it now!” Ayaa suddenly threw her marks with the most accuracy in the art of kunai knife throwing. She was able to successfully pin his shirt and shorts to the tree, while her hands let off the smoke. Gure leapt to Sasuke’s side to make sure he wouldn’t budge. “It’s your turn, Blackkun!”
Black-kun smiled, as she put her fingers together for the perfect jutsu formation. “Shadow-clone* jutsu!” Multiple shadow clones filled the forest. She had been able to pull off augmenting dozens of them! “Now, everyone, make one big wall in front of Sasuke!” The many shadow clones stood upon one another, crowding around Sasuke to detain him from moving. Not to the team’s surprise, Sasuke used his karate to unpin himself, while fighting back against the crowding forms of Black-kun. His nature was stolid and calm, as well as completely accurate. There was not an unkempt wrinkle in his clothes nor a hair out of place in his appearance. Ayaa, Gure, Hari and Black-kun almost lost their cool by gaping in amazement of Sasuke… But it was not enough to defeat the elite four. Gure used her bold taekwondo move to knock him cold against the tree.
“Alright! We captured him! Great job, guys!” Blackkun congratulated. Hari adjusted her glasses, to which she soon realized were not there anymore, since she had shortly gotten contacts just the other evening. “We have been bereft long enough from his absence.”
“Oh, we’re not finished yet. Are we, Ayaa?” Gure winked. Ayame dimmed her eyes and stated solemnly, “Yes, indeed. There is one dour consequence for his rash actions!” She had given a good intimation of what she was thinking of…
About an hour passed by as Hari began to cook meatloaf for dinner. They had been able to buy celery and turnips from Momiji-san and Tunny-chan off the side of the road; they had mentioned it was the season for opulent vegetables. Black-kun, Ayame-san, and Gure happily played spoons, while Sasuke tried to pick up his cards through the rope tied around him and his chair, grunting with frustration.
He knew that the only way they’d even think about letting him go would be if he won that game of spoons…
Author’s Notes:
Gure, Hari, Ayaa: Gure is the shortened name of Shigure, as is Hari for Hatori, and Ayaa for Ayame.
Sasuke: pronounced SA-SKAY as in MAY.
-Kun, -Chan, -San: are suffixes added to a person’s name to show familiarity in Japanese culture.
Uchiha: Sasuke’s legendary fighting tribe that was wiped out (they’re last names were Uchiha). All details are unknown at present. He and his brother Itachi are the only survivors.
Kunai Knives: Throwing Knives
Jutsus: A martial arts technique
Shadow Clones: A temporary ability to copy the user’s ability.
Hatori leaped beside these two on their chase after Sasuke, the legendary Uchiha*. “We may not catch up to him with our feet, but we can certainly get him with our jutsus*!” Hari mentioned with a sly grin. She began deploying their team. “Black-kun, get ready. Keep your eyes on him, Gure, and make sure you don’t lose sight of him! Ayaa, pin him down with your kunai knives* against those tree trunks!”
Black-kun lunged forward, ready for the hit. “Make way, Sasuke, and prepare for the most daring girls you have ever seen! Ayaa, do it now!” Ayaa suddenly threw her marks with the most accuracy in the art of kunai knife throwing. She was able to successfully pin his shirt and shorts to the tree, while her hands let off the smoke. Gure leapt to Sasuke’s side to make sure he wouldn’t budge. “It’s your turn, Blackkun!”
Black-kun smiled, as she put her fingers together for the perfect jutsu formation. “Shadow-clone* jutsu!” Multiple shadow clones filled the forest. She had been able to pull off augmenting dozens of them! “Now, everyone, make one big wall in front of Sasuke!” The many shadow clones stood upon one another, crowding around Sasuke to detain him from moving. Not to the team’s surprise, Sasuke used his karate to unpin himself, while fighting back against the crowding forms of Black-kun. His nature was stolid and calm, as well as completely accurate. There was not an unkempt wrinkle in his clothes nor a hair out of place in his appearance. Ayaa, Gure, Hari and Black-kun almost lost their cool by gaping in amazement of Sasuke… But it was not enough to defeat the elite four. Gure used her bold taekwondo move to knock him cold against the tree.
“Alright! We captured him! Great job, guys!” Blackkun congratulated. Hari adjusted her glasses, to which she soon realized were not there anymore, since she had shortly gotten contacts just the other evening. “We have been bereft long enough from his absence.”
“Oh, we’re not finished yet. Are we, Ayaa?” Gure winked. Ayame dimmed her eyes and stated solemnly, “Yes, indeed. There is one dour consequence for his rash actions!” She had given a good intimation of what she was thinking of…
About an hour passed by as Hari began to cook meatloaf for dinner. They had been able to buy celery and turnips from Momiji-san and Tunny-chan off the side of the road; they had mentioned it was the season for opulent vegetables. Black-kun, Ayame-san, and Gure happily played spoons, while Sasuke tried to pick up his cards through the rope tied around him and his chair, grunting with frustration.
He knew that the only way they’d even think about letting him go would be if he won that game of spoons…
Author’s Notes:
Gure, Hari, Ayaa: Gure is the shortened name of Shigure, as is Hari for Hatori, and Ayaa for Ayame.
Sasuke: pronounced SA-SKAY as in MAY.
-Kun, -Chan, -San: are suffixes added to a person’s name to show familiarity in Japanese culture.
Uchiha: Sasuke’s legendary fighting tribe that was wiped out (they’re last names were Uchiha). All details are unknown at present. He and his brother Itachi are the only survivors.
Kunai Knives: Throwing Knives
Jutsus: A martial arts technique
Shadow Clones: A temporary ability to copy the user’s ability.
The Cleaned Table
Once upon a present time, there were a group of immature high school juniors. Their jobs were to annoy the cafeteria and culinary cleaning ladies, because of course, they would absolutely refuse to clean their table. These cravens coerced these kind ladies to clean up after their edibles.
But no more.
One young onlooker absolutely despised this injustice. She went by the name of “Black-kun”, because people often feared the “black” side that she often mutated into. If her black side took form for even a sojourn, no one would be able to withstand her punitive works. When her disposition was an upbeat and considerate soul, it was her much gratified “white side”.
Except this day was different…
Black-kun began to deploy a strategy against her adversaries. Her urbane artifice would soon pay off, as well as her inclement nature. No longer would those boys harass the lunch ladies, hence would be the day of their demise.
The next morning Black-kun awoke with a sanguine mentality. Her plan would not be fallow. She mused for the rest of the morning, dreaming happily what it would be like, as soon as the lunch ladies would stick up for themselves. Once she set a precedent for the juniors, young teens would become respectable people, as their smutty actions would be deleted!
The lunch bell rang, while it exhilarated humans with the wonderful notion of food. Crowds of people filled the cafeteria and, as she suspected, five junior guys took a seat at the third table of the fourth row. When the mass of students settled down, Black-kun stood on a table and yelled, “Free eegees outside for all who get there first!” She knew exactly how to alienate the general population from the juniors. The guys were so lazy they wouldn’t go to the trouble of running for eegees with the rest of the high school animated attitude. She had successfully perpetuated 3/4 of their high school to remain outside. Now came the main event: redressing the bad attitudes of the juniors.
Black-kun closed her eyes as she took a deep breath of negligible significance; she was completely ready even without focus. Stepping forward, she began to approach their table. A lunch lady walked to them first. “Who would like to clean today?” She adjusted her glasses. “Would anyone please help out? I’m so tired from today’s workload…”
But they began to laugh. “I’m not doing any of it!” The brown haired boy shouted. “Yea. We don’t get paid for cleaning tables. We come to school to study, not do your dirty work,” stated the blond haired one. Black-kun slammed the table. The air stood still for a couple moments of forever. “Excuse me, Mrs. Winster. I would like to clean any table of yours. At least I’m much more suited to this job than these lazy, slacker babies are. They’re only capable of maintaining an average GPA of .05,” Black-kun laughed indifferently. The junior boys started to clench their teeth. “Don’t you think they might get a little smarter, if that’s possible, when they started to actually work a little? Such spoiled brats. When will they ever grow up?” Black-kun grinned. She had lit the match. “WHAT ARE YOU TALKIN’ ABOUT, KID??!??” They were more riled up than Black-kun had imagined! “Mrs. Winster…We WILL clean this table…AND we will clean and sweep the rest of the cafeteria for the rest of the month! So THERE, Freshman!!!”
Black-kun had saved the world, yet again. The pickle in her lunch box that morning tasted good.
But no more.
One young onlooker absolutely despised this injustice. She went by the name of “Black-kun”, because people often feared the “black” side that she often mutated into. If her black side took form for even a sojourn, no one would be able to withstand her punitive works. When her disposition was an upbeat and considerate soul, it was her much gratified “white side”.
Except this day was different…
Black-kun began to deploy a strategy against her adversaries. Her urbane artifice would soon pay off, as well as her inclement nature. No longer would those boys harass the lunch ladies, hence would be the day of their demise.
The next morning Black-kun awoke with a sanguine mentality. Her plan would not be fallow. She mused for the rest of the morning, dreaming happily what it would be like, as soon as the lunch ladies would stick up for themselves. Once she set a precedent for the juniors, young teens would become respectable people, as their smutty actions would be deleted!
The lunch bell rang, while it exhilarated humans with the wonderful notion of food. Crowds of people filled the cafeteria and, as she suspected, five junior guys took a seat at the third table of the fourth row. When the mass of students settled down, Black-kun stood on a table and yelled, “Free eegees outside for all who get there first!” She knew exactly how to alienate the general population from the juniors. The guys were so lazy they wouldn’t go to the trouble of running for eegees with the rest of the high school animated attitude. She had successfully perpetuated 3/4 of their high school to remain outside. Now came the main event: redressing the bad attitudes of the juniors.
Black-kun closed her eyes as she took a deep breath of negligible significance; she was completely ready even without focus. Stepping forward, she began to approach their table. A lunch lady walked to them first. “Who would like to clean today?” She adjusted her glasses. “Would anyone please help out? I’m so tired from today’s workload…”
But they began to laugh. “I’m not doing any of it!” The brown haired boy shouted. “Yea. We don’t get paid for cleaning tables. We come to school to study, not do your dirty work,” stated the blond haired one. Black-kun slammed the table. The air stood still for a couple moments of forever. “Excuse me, Mrs. Winster. I would like to clean any table of yours. At least I’m much more suited to this job than these lazy, slacker babies are. They’re only capable of maintaining an average GPA of .05,” Black-kun laughed indifferently. The junior boys started to clench their teeth. “Don’t you think they might get a little smarter, if that’s possible, when they started to actually work a little? Such spoiled brats. When will they ever grow up?” Black-kun grinned. She had lit the match. “WHAT ARE YOU TALKIN’ ABOUT, KID??!??” They were more riled up than Black-kun had imagined! “Mrs. Winster…We WILL clean this table…AND we will clean and sweep the rest of the cafeteria for the rest of the month! So THERE, Freshman!!!”
Black-kun had saved the world, yet again. The pickle in her lunch box that morning tasted good.
Her Rainbow Fruitcake
NOTE: On my comp, the other language was in wingding and it didn't do it here!! Sorry for typos D:
Now there happened to be one young soul, whose character was undoubtedly altruistic. She completed an immeasurable amount of chivalrous deeds, such as slowing her car down in front of a badly timed bunny rabbit hopping across the street, or flipping over a struggling beetle from its deathly backside. Whatever it was, her indomitable, unfeigned love and clemency for the living creatures of this Earth could not be thwarted. The question that lies unanswered is this: what about the creatures of … perhaps another planet?
This story is her accounted dealings with aliens of Mars. Please keep in mind the amount of time it took to translate their language.
The Martian spread his fingers uncomfortably apart, “Greetings, Baroon. What brings you to this lab?” His throw-up green colored eyes stared upon a lab-tested leaf. Below was the word location (which actually looked like this: location) with a big green blue sphere residing beside it.
Baroon, the purple faced Martian, flexed his lips. “It appears that our infallible and unerring nature, is not so facile, as we believed it to be. We cannot obtain a miniscule amount of information on the substance engulfed by human creatures.” Red Faced Throw-up Green, or as said in their language RedFacedThrowupGreen, assented with his results; for not only did he never have a discrepancy with Baroon, but he too could not trace this ‘food’ to which humans love. All they had to engulf was Red Polbus, a delicacy upon the red sand of Mars. “We must embark upon our spaceship to Earth, so that we may try this ‘food’ as well. But their “air” is more than just pungent. It is completely virulent! Beware; keep your mask upon your face and do not remove it.”
And that was that.
Meanwhile on planet Earth, the charitable young woman, whom you know well, reposed upon her couch, dreaming of the new luxurious phone pole that was soon to be put up. Finally those poor pigeons could rest upon the telephone line. Ding dong!
“Coming!” She ran to her door. In walked Baroon and RedFacedThrowupGreen, awkwardly plodding upon the carpet floor with their new ugg boots. “Hello, Charitable Creature. We come from a dearth of Red Polbus inhabited land. May we try some of your delectable ‘food’?”
Charitable Creature stood, frozen over with shock. What was to be her reply? She had heard of Mars’ truculent history of brutal treatment from brother to brother. And shall we forget the latest article of Mars’ attack upon the tree of Prince Edward’s Island? They had taken a leaf with them! But as Charitable Creature began thinking, she came to the conclusion of helping them. Her actions would never become remiss with laziness and neither would it be for Martians. She would become a great benefactor to helping Earth become allies with Mars. Breaking out of her usually diffident behavior, Charitable Creature outburst with temerity. “YES! I shall make you… RAINBOW FRUITCAKE!”
The happy Martians returned home with new faces. Baroon, the old purple-faced Martian was now a rainbow faced Martian, as well as the old red-faced, throw-up green eyed Martian. His name in Martian now looked like this:
THE END
Now there happened to be one young soul, whose character was undoubtedly altruistic. She completed an immeasurable amount of chivalrous deeds, such as slowing her car down in front of a badly timed bunny rabbit hopping across the street, or flipping over a struggling beetle from its deathly backside. Whatever it was, her indomitable, unfeigned love and clemency for the living creatures of this Earth could not be thwarted. The question that lies unanswered is this: what about the creatures of … perhaps another planet?
This story is her accounted dealings with aliens of Mars. Please keep in mind the amount of time it took to translate their language.
The Martian spread his fingers uncomfortably apart, “Greetings, Baroon. What brings you to this lab?” His throw-up green colored eyes stared upon a lab-tested leaf. Below was the word location (which actually looked like this: location) with a big green blue sphere residing beside it.
Baroon, the purple faced Martian, flexed his lips. “It appears that our infallible and unerring nature, is not so facile, as we believed it to be. We cannot obtain a miniscule amount of information on the substance engulfed by human creatures.” Red Faced Throw-up Green, or as said in their language RedFacedThrowupGreen, assented with his results; for not only did he never have a discrepancy with Baroon, but he too could not trace this ‘food’ to which humans love. All they had to engulf was Red Polbus, a delicacy upon the red sand of Mars. “We must embark upon our spaceship to Earth, so that we may try this ‘food’ as well. But their “air” is more than just pungent. It is completely virulent! Beware; keep your mask upon your face and do not remove it.”
And that was that.
Meanwhile on planet Earth, the charitable young woman, whom you know well, reposed upon her couch, dreaming of the new luxurious phone pole that was soon to be put up. Finally those poor pigeons could rest upon the telephone line. Ding dong!
“Coming!” She ran to her door. In walked Baroon and RedFacedThrowupGreen, awkwardly plodding upon the carpet floor with their new ugg boots. “Hello, Charitable Creature. We come from a dearth of Red Polbus inhabited land. May we try some of your delectable ‘food’?”
Charitable Creature stood, frozen over with shock. What was to be her reply? She had heard of Mars’ truculent history of brutal treatment from brother to brother. And shall we forget the latest article of Mars’ attack upon the tree of Prince Edward’s Island? They had taken a leaf with them! But as Charitable Creature began thinking, she came to the conclusion of helping them. Her actions would never become remiss with laziness and neither would it be for Martians. She would become a great benefactor to helping Earth become allies with Mars. Breaking out of her usually diffident behavior, Charitable Creature outburst with temerity. “YES! I shall make you… RAINBOW FRUITCAKE!”
The happy Martians returned home with new faces. Baroon, the old purple-faced Martian was now a rainbow faced Martian, as well as the old red-faced, throw-up green eyed Martian. His name in Martian now looked like this:
THE END
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